The Indian Musical Engineer: Or, How We Learned To Let It Go And Embrace Our St. Lucian Rhythm
The thing about Beausejour Cricket Ground is that it is a lot bigger than it looks on TV. This is because the St. Lucians are smart enough to always sit in the shade. You see that line on TV where the sun meets the shade? The only people you will see on the sun side will be the Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Afghanis, South Africans, and (naturally) the Australians. But as the line continues to move, you will magically see the stands fill up.
Which explains why the stadium is so loud even though you think it’s half-empty.
From the first ball to way past the last one (which, more often than not, will have been dispatched for a massive Six with relative disdain by one of the Aussies) the drums, horns, whistles, dancing, Piton Beer (best beer, ever!) are all out in full force. And all of this for matches not featuring the West Indies (can you just imagine what that must be like?).
So there we were out in Castries Stand after having seen Suresh Raina race to an unbelievable T20 Century and watched the Springboks/ Proteas (sadly, the team name changed once Invictus was completed) inexplicably pace their run-chase with all the urgency of a Test Match. Since India had already finished their match the stands were curiously bereft of most of the team’s vociferous supporters who just a few minutes earlier were cheering as if the fate of the universe rested on a Group Stage game in the World Twenty20.
Which is why The Better Half (bless her heart, she watched every single ball of those four matches without complaint) and I were surprised to hear that unmistakable whistle punctuate the beats of the calypso band behind us.
Tweet…beat…Tweet…beat…Tweet-Tweet. (Um, is that a whistle sounds like? Or would it be Chirp?)
Why surprised? Well, for the earlier match, it was an Indian Guy who had joined the calypso band with his whistle. He had first caught our attention because we thought it was my cousin Rupsy (he had the same glasses, the same build, the same goatee, and the same indefatigable spirit and zest for life).
What had sustained our attention had been the fact that he had seamlessly blended in with the band and had stuck with them the whole time! What energy! What enthusiasm! What an uncanny sense of rhythm (which I was personally very jealous of since Rock Band officially confirmed what has been a deep, dark secret in the family – I have no rhythm)! The band and he had been a major reason why we had had such a great time during the first match (well them and that kid Raina who had pummeled the South Africans with his blitzkrieg Century, bringing his 100 up with an unbelievable Six).
And now the Indian Guy was back for the second match with that same ebullient spirit even though his fellow countrymen had deserted him. And he was still there when we left (after having watched Australia thrash Pakistan, though it was good to see Pakistan at least attempt an aggressive chase, which was in stark contrast to the dogged, unimaginative way South Africa attempted to overhaul India’s total, though this didn’t seem to impress the Pakistani Fans who were jammed into the mini-bus with us on the way back, “Boom-Boom Afridi indeed” they grumbled).
“I bet he’s an Engineer who always wanted to be a musician but his parents never let him,” TBH suddenly said. What? “Yup, and I bet now that this passion has come out, he’s going to go back and start taking lessons.” How can you tell? Did you talk to him? “Nope, I just know,” is all she would say.
It was a pleasant evening out there in Rodney Bay. We ran into Morne Morkel (so endearingly flustered after he realized that he had been recognized while waiting for Charl “Fatty” Langeveldt to come out of his room so they could go to dinner together), Shaun Tait, Shane Watson, Steven Smith, Cameron White, and Mitchell Johnson (who was disappointingly polite and refused to take any of the bait I was throwing at him; c’mon man, you couldn’t have told me to go eff myself after I kept bringing up Australia’s humiliating performance in the last World Twenty20?). After TBH insisted she was in the mood for Indian Food, we went to Razmataz which was apparently the only Indian Restaurant on St. Lucia because it was so bloody packed that we had to eat in the bar area (which was actually fun as we ended up making friends with a motley bunch of Indian Fans). I’m glad I listened to her because MS Dhoni and Harbhajan “Bhajji” Singh showed up (we were quite definitively told by the Indian Fans that on the Scale of Nice Indian Cricketers the two were closer to the Suresh Raina side than to the other Yuvraj Singh side).
But the highlight was running into the Indian Guy at the restaurant (like I said, it was probably the only Indian Restaurant in St. Lucia, and the only thing Indian Fans like more than Indian Cricket is Indian Food). And TBH (again, bless her heart) went right up to him and thanked him for making her First Cricketing Experience so much fun. She then asked him if he was, in fact, an Indian Engineer with a secret love for Music that he had been unable to pursue.
He paused and looked at her for a second.
Uh-oh, was he offended? Was he going to walk off in a huff and become that fly in our Caribbean ointment?
“Well,” he said, “It just so happens that I run an IT company in St. Louis.”
What?
“And yes, I have always had in interest in Music.”
No.
“Today was so much fun. They actually asked me to join their band.”
Are you kidding me?
“Unfortunately, I do have to go back to work…”
Ha…she wasn’t completely right.
“…but I am definitely going to take some lessons and pursue Music when I get back.”
No…bloody…way.
We said our goodbyes and continued our walkabout around Rodney Bay. We met assorted varieties of Cricket Fans along the way (Australians, South Africans, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, though sadly no Afghanis). Then, at some Un-Godly Hour, we heard the familiar calypso rhythm in the distance. We followed the sounds to a Street Party where a band had struck up the familiar beat. They were mobbed by a circle of dancing St. Lucians, Indians, South Africans, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Afghanis even.
And there, right in the thick of it, was our Indian Guy, officially transformed into our Indian Musical Engineer, whistling and dancing to his heart’s content.
Tweet…beat…Tweet…beat…Tweet-Tweet.
We may have our differences in the real world. But that night, under the Caribbean sky, we are an indivisible Nation of Cricket, letting it all go, and giving into our collective Cosmic St. Lucia Rhythm.
And you thought Cricket was boring!
Cheers!
The basu! Guide to the Movies
(The Live-Cricket-Ain’t-Nuthin’-Like-It Edition)
14 – 28 May 2010
The b! List
Ten things that are the best, ever (currently)!
1. Beausejour Cricket Ground. The Best Stadium, Ever!
2. Razmataz. The Best Indian Restaurant To Run Into Indian Cricketers, Ever!
3. Suresh Raina. The Best Indian Batsman To Annihilate The South Africans, Ever!
4. Shane Watson. The Best Australian Batsman To Annihilate The Pakistanis, Ever!
5. Mohammad Aamer. The Best Pakistani Bowler To Annihilate The Australians With a Five-Wicket Maiden Over, Ever!
6. Shapoor Zadran. The Best Afghani Bowler To Show The Indians What Real Pace Looks Like, Ever!
7. Mohammad Ashraful. The Best Bangladeshi Batsman To Out-Boom-Boom Boom-Boom Afridi, Ever!
8. Mitchell Johnson. The Best Physically Imposing Headcase Australian All-Rounder To Remain Unfailingly Polite Despite The Best Efforts Of An Idiot Fan To Bait Him, Ever!
9. MS Dhoni and Harbhajan “Bhajji” Singh. The Best Indian Captain And Headcase Spinner Duo, Ever!
10. Piton Beer. The Best Beer At A World Twenty20, Ever!
Special Mention: The Afghanistan Cricket Team. The Best Division Five Team From A War-Torn Country Made Up Of Refugees Fleeing The Fighting That Vaulted Up Into The Big Leagues Displaying A Heart And Passion Sorely Lacking From The Established Teams, Ever! (An amazing, amazing story!)
Special Mention: The National at The Wiltern Theatre. The Best Show So Epic That Jack Shephard Himself (AKA Matthew Fox) Was Next To Us Singing Along To Every Single Amazing Song, Ever!
Special Mention: Steve Nash and The Phoenix Suns. The Best Surprisingly-Tough Outcast Point Guard And His Ragtag Band Of Loveable Misfits Who Always Break Your Heart, Ever!
Movies: Great Directors As Counter-Programmers
Micmacs
Directed by: The Great Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Starring: Dominique Pinon, Dany Boon, Andre Dussollier, Nicolas Marie, Jean-Pierre Marielle
Plot: An outcast and his band of misfits (not the kind who break your heart) take revenge against a large weapons manufacturer. Not-quite-how-you-would-cut-military-spending type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: Jeunet is a great, great director. And yeah, maybe his brand of calculated whimsy is not for everyone. And maybe he indulges the worst stereotypes that the audience has about “cute” (or is it twee?) French films. But, trust me, his movies look like nothing you will see anywhere else.
Bottom Line: Me, and Other Jean-Pierre Jeunet Acolytes: Theatres – First Week; Other, More Jaded Souls: Theatres – Eventually
Other Movies to Check Out (as well): The City of Lost Children; Delicatessen; Amelie; A Very Long Engagement; Alien: Resurrection
George A. Romero’s Survival of the Dead
Directed by: The Great George A. Romero
Starring: Alan Van Sprang, Kenneth Welsh, Kathleen Munroe, Devon Bostick
Plot: An island must deal with zombies while trying to find a cure for the disease. Big-Pharma-to-the-rescue type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: I personally think that after Vampires and Werewolves, it’s now the Zombies who will have a Moment. And who better to usher in this Moment that the man whose name is synonymous with Zombies? This is gonna be awesome!
Bottom Line: Me, and Other George A. Romero Acolytes: Theatres – First Week; Other, More Courageous Souls: DVD
Other Movies to Check Out (as well): George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead; George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead; The Crazies (1973); George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead; George A. Romero’s Land of the Dead; George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead
Movie: Bollywood Tries to Come to Hollywood (Again)
Kites / Kites: The Remix
Directed by: Anurag Basu / Brett Ratner
Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Kabir Bedi, Barbara Mori
Plot: An Indian man must outrun his enemies while searching for the love of his life in Mexico. Why-do-trips-to-TJ-always-go-so-horribly-wrong? type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: I know what you’re thinking. A Bollywood movie attempting to cross over to the American audience directed by a Basu? Sadly, no, it’s not me, and I have no idea who this Basu is, but I wouldn’t mind if we did a real-life version of a Trading Places-type switcheroo (not a Freaky Friday-type switcheroo though, that would be too weird).
Bottom Line: Me, and Others Too Confused to Know Which Version Is Playing Where: DVD
Other Movies to Check Out (as well): Sholay; Jalwa; Dil Chahta Hai; Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd.; Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak
Movies: The Heavily-Hyped Under-Performers
Robin Hood
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Max von Sydow, William Hurt, Mark Strong
Plot: A renegade outlaw defies the established class to help the poor. Not-quite-what-a-medieval-Tea-Party-would-have-in-mind type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: Okay, I can make a crack about how much I liked it the last time I saw it when it was called Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. But you know what, I did like RH: POT. It was fun, Morgan Freeman was in it, it had that cool arrow’s-eye-view shot, a nice little Sean Connery cameo, and a great theme song. So there, I said it, that theme song was great!
Bottom Line: Me, and Other Ridley Scott Acolytes Who Really Should Know Better: Theatres – Eventually; Other, More Measured Souls: DVD
Other Movies to Check Out (as well): The Adventures of Robin Hood; Robin Hood (1973); Robin and Marian; Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves; Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Shrek Forever After
Directed by: Mike Mitchell
Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas
Plot: An ogre seeks to set things right after making a deal with the proverbial Devil (a.k.a. Rumpelstiltskin). The-beloved-franchise-comes-to-a-sad-end type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: All right, admit it, it is a little sad that stars who were once as big as Myers, Murphy, Diaz, and Banderas have all been pretty much reduced to voice-over actors for an aging animated franchise. Now that this is “The Final Chapter,” what will happen to our beloved stars? Well, at the very least Banderas will keep going with a Puss in Boots spin-off. Now that I’d love to see!
Bottom Line: Those with Young Children in Need of Some Babysitting Help: Theatres – First Week [On IMAX 3-D]; Other, Less Harried Souls: DVD
Other Movies to Check Out (as well): Austin Powers; Beverly Hills Cop; Charlie’s Angels; The Mask of Zorro
Movies: The Heavily-Hyped Hoped-For-Performers
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Directed by: Mike Newell (Yup, the director of such epics as Four Weddings and a Funeral)
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Alfred Molina, Ben Kingsley, Gemma Arterton
Plot: A prince teams up with a princess in order to save the world from a bloodthirsty villain in ancient Persia. Not-quite-what-the-Mid-East-peace-process-had-in-mind type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: Growing up, this was the first video game that we smuggled into our School Computer Lab that was actually any good. But for the life of me, no matter how hard I tried, I just could not get past the second level, no matter what. And it was only years later after my sister had humiliated at Mortal Kombat in the Game Room in college (in front of everyone) that I realized that it had been me all along, not every single video game I had played up until them.
Bottom Line: Me, and Other Mike Newell Acolytes With Fond Memories of the Video Game Who Really Should Know Better: Theatres – Eventually; Other, More Measured Souls: DVD
Other Movies to Check Out (as well): Four Weddings and a Funeral; Donnie Brasco; Into the West; Enchanted April
S*x and the City 2
Directed by: Michael Patrick King
Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Evan Handler
Plot: A group of lifelong friends find themselves out of their elements in the Middle East. Not-quite-what-the-Mid-East-peace-process-had-in-mind type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: So, I was the last person to get on my plane from New York to Los Angeles when a familiar face got on right before me. Hey, the stewardess, said, that’s…yup, I said, Evan Handler. No, she said, I mean he plays that guy…yeah, I said, Harry. Right, she said, and he married…yes, Kristin Davis. Her name on the show was…si, I said, Charlotte. And then she looked at me very, very confused: Why do you know so much about S*x and the City? And you know what, I did not have a good answer, except that it’s awesome!
Bottom Line: Me, and Others Who Know Way Too Much About S*x and the City: Theatres – First Week; Other, More Measured Souls: DVD
Other Movies to Check Out (as well): Steel Magnolias; Terms of Endearment; Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood; The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Movies: The Counter-Programmers
Just Wright
Directed by: Sanaa Hamri
Starring: Queen Latifah, Common, Paula Patton
Plot: A love triangle causes frictions between an NBA player, his physiotherapist, and her best friend. Where’s-Phil-Jackson-when-you-need-him? type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: I like Latifah so I will watch this movie. Plus it’s nice to see Patton continuing to get work after her criminally under-appreciated performance in Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire.
Bottom Line: Me, and Other Fans of Queen Latifah and Paula Patton: Theatres – Eventually; Other, More Measured Souls: DVD
Other Movies to Check Out (as well): Living Out Loud; Set It Off; Bringing Down the House; Last Holiday; Chicago
Letters to Juliet
Directed by: Gary Winick
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Gael Garcia Bernal, Vanessa Redgrave
Plot: A young tourist in Italy tries to reunite the writer of an old letter with her long-lost love while finding her own true love. Don’t-cry-it’s-only-tweenage-wasteland type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: If you listen carefully you can hear thousands of tweenage girls shrieking for Seyfried and swooning for Bernal. As for me and other men of a certain age (and no, I’m not talking about Ray Romano, Scott Bakula, and the great Andre Braugher), we’re happy to see the always-radiant Redgrave up on the big screen.
Bottom Line: Tweenage Girls: Theatres – First Week; Me, and Other Men of a Certain Age Who Are Still Fans of Vanessa Redgrave: Theatres – Eventually; Other, More Measured Souls: DVD
Other Movies to Check Out (as well): Blowup; Julia; A Man for All Seasons; Howards End; Isadora; Camelot; The Bostonians; Morgan: A Suitable Case for Treatment; A Quiet Place in the Country; Mary, Queen of Scots; Prick Up Your Ears
MacGruber
Directed by: Jorma Taccone
Starring: Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Val Kilmer, Powers Boothe
Plot: A retired Special Ops vet is pulled back into service when his archenemy threatens to attack a major US city. In-what-Universal-universe-does-a-MacGruber-movie-get-made-before-a- MacGyver-movie? complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: All right, so I was in the Griffith Park Drive Courts Tennis Center waiting for my WGA-award-winning friend Andy to show up when I saw a nervous-looking man with leggings under his already-baggy shorts, a very thick hoodie (a good idea, since it was already in the 70s) and a Dodgers hat pulled down way too low. I went home and checked and wouldn’t you know it, Saturday Night Live had been in repeats the night before. Which meant…that man was Forte! MacGruber lives!
Bottom Line: Me, and Other Geeks Who Run Into MacGruber in Griffith Park: Theatres – First Week; Others Who Know Much, Much Better: Pass
Other Movies to Check Out (instead): Wayne’s World; Hot Rod; The Blues Brothers; A Night at the Roxbury; Superstar
Solitary Man
Directed by: Brian Koppelman and David Levien
Starring: Michael Douglas, Susan Sarandon, Danny DeVito, Mary-Louise Parker, Jesse Eisenberg
Plot: A charismatic, but corrupt, disgraced business tycoon tries to redeem himself. Stop-me-if-you’ve-heard-this-one-before type complications ensue.
The basu! Buzz: For Douglas fans (like myself) we can’t wait for the star-studded movie with a great director that will be released in 2010 and which will surely put his career back on the track that it so deserves to be on. That movie is Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.
Bottom Line: Me, and Other Fans of Michael Douglas Who Really Should Know Better: DVD; Other, Less Nostalgic Souls: Pass
Other Movies to Check Out (instead): Romancing the Stone; Wall Street; Fatal Attraction; The In-Laws (2003); The Ghost and the Darkness
The Top 10 Movies of 2010
How to Train Your Dragon
Shutter Island
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Thorn in the Heart (new entry)
Green Zone
Alice in Wonderland
Clash of the Titans [2-D] (new entry)
Top 10 Films Out Right Now That I Positively Have to See
Casino Jack and the United States of Money
The Secret in Their Eyes
Exit Through the Gift Shop
The Ghost Writer
Hot Tub Time Machine
Kick-A**
The Bounty Hunter
The City of Your Final Destination
Date Night
The Losers